Buying a telephone is somehow a reason to cheer for someone

This is my phone. It's called the Samsung Stripe. It's got a shitty camera and holds about 50 pictures. It slips out of my hand easily because it's shaped like an egg. It was also free when I signed my contract with T-Mobile two years ago.

In a few months I'll throw this phone away, sign a new contract and ask the clerk to show me the four or five phones that are free for people who sign contracts. I won't ask about special features or applications. The one I pick will probably come with a camera, but I won't particularly care. Really, the only question I'll have will be something like, "So this one works pretty well? Reception's good?" If the reception is good, I'll take it. It should be no surprise, then, to discover that I'm completely baffled by today's iPhone launch.

I understood the hoopla surrounding the launch of the first iPhone generation. Actually, no. I don't understand any of it. I guess my number one question is why are people being cheered for buying a phone at 1:20 in the following clip?



Hooray! You spent some money on a thing!

Why do people love their phones so much? It's a phone. A phone. Nobody gave two shits about this phone:


Sadly, the Trimline's two "extra" buttons could only carry it so far into the future. The extra buttons were 1968's answer to today's iPhone restaurant-finder application. Also, I find it ironic that families who owned a Trimline used the damn thing for three decades, while most cellophiles these days will eagerly trade in a phone months after purchasing it.

I hate cell phones.