People are killing themselves after Michael Jackson's death because everybody is insane

Last night Dateline dusted off it's old Martin Bashir interviews of Michael Jackson from a few years back. I watched thinking how insane this man was -- Michael Jackson. Here he is insisting he's only had two plastic surgeries. Here he is buying million-dollar, gold-plated lawn ornaments. Captivating stuff, but what I wasn't thinking was how I'd kill myself now that he's gone. Sadly, this is apparently what at least 12 people have done so far.

This is bad. It's gotten so bad, in fact, that Jesse Jackson -- an insane person, himself -- has recorded a video urging fans not to "self destruct."



Ugh. This awkward video that was haphazardly thrown together at an airport is what makes me want to commit suicide.

Also, why is the article I've linked called Grieving Jackson Fans 'Commit Suicide'? What's with the quotes? It's unnecessary to attribute the act of suicide, so I guess these are scare quotes? That makes zero sense, though, because scare quotes are used when the quoted phrase doesn't signify its literal meaning. I'd like to believe that people aren't literally killing themselves because Michael Jackson is dead, but I'm pretty sure they are because this world is fucking bonkers.