Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Roger Ebert tees up the Transformers sequel and slam dunks it into the upper deck Shaquille O'Neal BOOM!!!

The opening line:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.
Freshmen composition students, take note. That's how you get shit started. But Ebs is only getting started, boys and girls.

About how the robots talk:
Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars.
About how the robots look:
Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up.
About how the robots fight:
The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire.
It seems he likes the humans in the movie a bit more than the robots. A bit more than not at all, though...

About the plot:
The plot is incomprehensible.
Sorry, Transformers. Y'GOT PLAYED!!!

2 comments:

wbrinegar said...

I will say this. I remember from the first installment that the machines learn language from the radio, so it's not out of the question that they'd speak with the accents they hear.

The backboard is only partially shattered, now.

Lickeypops said...

Roger Ebert can suck my ass. I read this review earlier this morning and came to the conclusion that the way he ripped it apart only goes to prove he has no idea what he's even talking about. It's a movie about robots from outer space! He's criticizing the way robots from outer space talk? Puhleeze.